What a day at Xavier’s school would really look like


What would a day in the life look like for a student at X Men? Let’s face it, Charles Xavier’s School for Gifted Young People is no ordinary learning environment and its curriculum is unlike any other. Frankly, the good teacher tends to put teenagers in situations that would make even Albus Dumbledore flinch in horror, and the only qualification most of his teachers have is that they survived school on their own.

X-Men fans have long imagined what life would be like at Xavier’s School, with some hilarious examples. And so we decided to jump into the act by imagining the notes of a young mutant on his first day at the X-Mansion, just two days after his mutant powers were activated. Comic book readers will no doubt recognize many references to the comics themselves, including a few shocking lessons that have actually been shown in Marvel stories.

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Assembly with Professor X and Emma Frost

X-Men Emma Frost School

Today, I started at the Xavier school for gifted young people. In my case, “gifted” just means that two days ago I screamed in fire and almost burned my school down. Now here I am, walking through the gates of a school that teaches mutants, quickly pushed past a group of screaming protesters. This Russian metal guy met me at the door and told me he would bring my things to my room and I should go to the rally. I followed his directions, walked in to find hundreds of kids like me, all sitting watching a platform where a guy I recognized on the news while Charles Xavier was talking. Talk about chills. My life is changing so quickly that I risk having a whiplash.

I had barely sat down before the ceiling exploded, and these giant robots – Sentinels, I think – came through. Seriously, I’ve never seen anything like how the X-Men behind Xavier move; so fast, so efficient, we barely started screaming before there were lasers and lightning and … then the robots were gone and the ceiling was whole again. This lady in white walked up and told us all to never forget “they or they” (I guess she means humans) will always be afraid of us. Once the editing was done, I wasted a few minutes finding my room so I could change my pants.

History with Bishop

I was late for my first lesson, but luckily so was the teacher. I managed to say hello to a few classmates before a guy came in with a huge glowing gun. He said his name was Mr. Bishop, and that he was replacing because the official history teacher, “Logan”, had not yet returned from Japan. He flipped through a few notes on the desk and then told everyone that the story was layered, the only story that matters is the future, because it’s the story that can kill you. I had no idea what he was talking about, but then a bright green skinned kid asked about alternative calendars, and Mr. Bishop’s response caught the rest of the class.

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Calculate with Kitty Pryde

Kitty pryde

The next lesson was computer science. I’ve always loved computers, so I couldn’t wait to be there, but I’ve never seen anything like the X-Men. The teacher – who everyone called “Mrs. Pryde” but kept telling us to call her “Kitty” – saw that I was struggling and told me it would take a while to get used to it. to Shia computers, whoever they are. Then she showed what they can do by hacking into the White House and checking the president’s records. He really likes cute kitten photos.

The lesson sort of ended abruptly when the metal man who had taken my bags walked in and Mrs Pryde seemed to forget everything about us, so people quietly started to slip away while she was distracted. . During the break, another classmate told me that these two continue to hook up and go their separate ways, and apparently that’s true for a lot of the teachers here.

Biology with the beast

x-men beast

Biology was after the break, in this crazy science lab, and the professor … well, I knew him. He was Beast, the great old blue Avenger, and I have to admit I was seriously freaking out about being in the same room with him. Never meet your heroes; not only did he not notice me, he seemed to forget he was teaching a class. He had us look at genetic footage on more of these Shia computers, and I have absolutely no idea what I was supposed to be looking at, because he explained it in the kind of technobabble that would embarrass a Star Trek writer.

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Again, the lesson ended early when he suddenly told us that one of his experiences was going wrong and rushed us out. He closed the door firmly behind us, and a moment later the door shook at the sound of an explosion. We were all wondering what to do when he reopened the door and told us everything was perfectly fine, he had just singed his fur, and he had even managed to discover a new explosive compound by accident.

Physical education with Wolverine

X-Men Wolverine Danger Room

Lunch was good, and then we had gym classes in the hall where we had the assembly, but now it looked like a rainforest. The professor introduced himself as Logan, and he growled that he had just returned from Japan and that he was being taught this class before he even had a beer to start his day. Someone pointed out that it was afternoon and gave them a look that made me wonder if his mutant power was heat vision. He told them he preferred to work at night. Then he decided to start the course by testing our fighting skills, and … blew his claws. I suddenly realized he was Wolverine. I really thought Wolverine was taller – a bit more like Hugh Jackman.

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He spent the next hour chasing us through the jungle, making us scream and run while he cut our clothes screaming “Label.” He scared me so much at one point jumping out of the shadows that I gasped and blew him out with a fireball. “It’s more like that,“Wolverine told me, and gave me some extra credit. I fell in love with a few people and didn’t have the courage to tell anyone I had no idea how I did.

Orientation with Cyclops

Cyclops X-Men

Apparently every new student ends their first day with a meeting with Mr. Summers, the principal (I thought it was Charles Xavier, but apparently not.) When I got to the principal’s office, I knocked on the door and I was greeted. Mr. Summers was sitting there behind his desk shuffling the papers and looking at me through those weird shades of red; It wasn’t until halfway through the conversation that I realized it must have been Cyclops, who still had his eyes covered with a red visor. Mr. Summers asked me about my powers, my experiences, what I thought of my first day, if Wolverine had come to class or abandoned us, and grumbled that he hadn’t made a proper lesson plan. for months. Suddenly he said, “Welcome to the X Men,and held out my hand to him. I squeezed it, and he added: I’ll make sure you survive the experience.“It’s … okay, I guess?

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